Today was an interesting day in class, and I learned more about myself today than probably the last year alone. I started thinking a lot about these "self defeating drivers". When that lady in the video (her name currently escapes me) started talking about how she had a problem embracing vulnerability, I realized that I do also. I am scared of getting hurt, and yet I push myself outside of my comfort zone. But when I can't build up the courage to push myself outside of my comfort zone, I beat myself up over it.
Just last week, I was at a party and I saw a really beautiful girl across the room. So I not just pushed, but actually hurled myself out of my comfort zone and went up to her and said, "Holy shit, you are beautiful. Would you like to go on a date sometime?" That was hard for me to do. I think it helped that I had a few beers in me (oops, don't tell Mom) and was kind of relaxed. But even so, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. She replied "Awe, thanks. And yes! I would love to go on a date with you." So, long story short, I embraced my vulnerability and asked her out. And it paid off. I got her number and was able to set up a day and time for the date.
Now I'm not someone who claims to have all the answers, but I figured out something important that night. I guess a life hack of sorts. Something a really intense gamer like myself would call a cheat code. A cheat code for real life. I want you right now to think of something you're scared to do. Seriously, think of something. Now imagine the scariest, most terrifying roller coaster in the world. You're a) Not going to die if you ride this roller coaster. b) Not going to suddenly become a different person when you get off and c) You're probably going to end up having fun.
Now back to the thing you're scared to do. That thing that you're scared to do is a roller coaster. You're not going to die if you ask that pretty girl or handsome guy out on a date. You're not going to die if you ask your boss for a raise. You're not going to die if you decide to enroll in that really hard Calculus class that everyone says is so hard. Secondly, you're not going to suddenly become a different person if you try and fail. You're not scared of trying, you're scared of failing. Think about it, If you knew with absolute certainty that you were going to succeed, you wouldn't be scared. So I'll say it again. You're not going to change if you try and fail. You're the same person that you were before you tried. Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, once said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." If that isn't powerful, I don't know what is. If you choose NOT to embrace your vulnerability, you just missed your shot. You just missed your shot to improve. As previously stated, if you try and fail, you won't change. You are still the same person, you have the same friends, you have the same family. So what if you fail? But if you try, you could end up improving as a person regardless of whether or not you succeed. That thing that I asked you to think of, the thing you're most scared to do is a roller coaster. Your fear is a roller coaster. Hurl yourself outside of your comfort zone and get on the roller coaster, like I did when I asked that hot girl out last week. Take a deep breath, strap yourself in, and say to yourself "I having nothing to lose, everything to gain, and I might enjoy the end result of this."
In closing, I need to tell you guys this: If you choose to let fear control you, you will never grow as a person, and never achieve happiness. Don't let fear control you, how about you control fear instead? Make fear your bitch. Take a deep breath and do that thing that you're scared to do. I promise you guys, it's not as scary as you've built it up in your mind to be. I look forward to seeing y'all in class some more. Good luck with that thing you're scared to do. I believe in you.
EDIT: Autumn thanks for commenting! I didn't take it the wrong way, I was just glad to hear what other people's thoughts were/are. What you said got me thinking, and made me wonder how I can adjust my confidence so that I don't rub people the wrong way. I also appreciate the other compliments you gave me, perhaps I didn't stress that enough. I can see us being friends and learning a bit more about each other :) Thank you for your feedback!
Hey Brayden, thank you for mentioning me in your blog. Yes the word that I was trying to say in class was "Pretentious". I don't know if you remember the list that Eric wrote on the board about what we thought about you. but 3 of them were mine. I said you are confident, competitive, and yeah pretentious (the only thing that I couldn't find the right word). Just so you know I see a potential leader in these 3 characteristics and I never thought you will take it a wrong way. Since you are not, as you insisted in this blog, I'm sorry for my wrong impressions on you that impact your life. But don't be so affected by just one opinion of a person who doesn't know you well if you are confident in yourself. My name is Autumn Nguyen just in case you mention me next time, and yeah I did enjoy your blog, which was the first one I searched for to read because I thought it's worth my time reading and leaving comment.
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